This is the time of year when we anticipate, start dreaming of what we'd like the year to be. It's human nature to carry around expectations and hopes. Part of us is always mapping out the territory ahead, planning how to handle it or what we'll get from it.
When we find out we're mentally ill, all our expectations change in an instant. Will we lose our jobs, our spouses, our status, our self-respect? Will we have to be put away? Will we take pills for the rest of our lives? Will we slobber and wear a strait jacket? (All the images are bad. We're coming out of thousands of years of brutality and fear and ignorance). Maybe a minute ago we were vaguely afraid of 'the insane' - and now we're one of them! Nobody thinks, "Wow, Napoleon was insane too. How totally cool!"
Suddenly, we have to figure it all out over again. Suddenly, the biggest challenge is to have a calm, functioning, peaceful mind. And that turns the whole American paradigm upside down.
Is that a bad thing?
Imagine how this country would change if people did what made them feel sane and happy first...Instead of what would impress, or intimidate, or make more money, or please their families or stockholders. What if no one put up with relationships that 'made them feel crazy' any more? What if everybody earned only what they needed and spent the rest of their day doing something more interesting? What if everybody chose a career based on their deepest dream instead of the prevailing job market? What if we lived life slowly, with pauses to enjoy the scenery? (Which industries would collapse and which endure? Food for thought. I'd put my bet on the arts & entertainment.)
When you have a mental illness, chances of a high-pressure, big-money job drop pretty low. Suddenly it makes more sense to do what you care for, even if it 'doesn't pay' - since you can't make the big bucks anyway. Our gift as psychiatric patients is to be lifted out of the 9 to 5 cage. Some people would give their eyeteeth and both arms and a few spare toes for that chance. Yeah, I know all about the dreariness of being in the margins with a low income. I've sung that song for a long time. But when was the last time we looked at the positives? Is it wrong to change the emphasis from achievement to quality of life?
So I've made a new type of resolution this year: in 2010, I'm going to enjoy the life I already have. After all, I'm not the first to notice it: the way much of America lives is utterly bats.
Look at it this way: I'll have psychotic attacks, and they'll have heart attacks. Seems equitable to me. And I'll have peace of mind, when I have a mind at all.
Who knows, it might start a revolution.
Perhaps that's what society really ought to fear from the lunatic fringe.
Nicely put. We might all have better peace of mind if we could learn to love the lives we have. We have SO MUCH in this country! I am grateful for my life - even living with CFIDS, and struggling with Anxiety at the moment. My goal this year: Mono-tasking. I admire you Deborah for your bravery and candid honesty - and your way with words.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Robyn! I know how tough Anxiety can be; we all need to encourage each other. I appreciate your comment.Hope you'll check in again some time! Deb
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't like to think of myself as a 'patient.' I like the term used by http://www.mindfreedom.org : 'psychiatric survivor.' Does this thing communicate links?
ReplyDeleteI guess the link isn't active, but it's worth typing in for a fresh perspective...
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the statement that one must enjoy the life they already have. There is only one moment one is alive, that is NOW. Acceptance, forgiveness, avoidance of judgment all are peaceful paths which heal and soothe the body, mind and spirit. B.J., Pleasant Hill, CA
ReplyDeleteOf course I like your take on mental healh versus the American paradigm. And I love your idea of loving the lives we already have. That's such a good question you raise about how things would change if we put mental health first instead of the things we usually put first. I can think of so many situations that would have been, or could be, drastically improved by this.
ReplyDeleteYou have a great perspective! Keep on giving us food for thought.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was diagnosed 20 years ago with bipolar disorder. He has gone through many stages of acceptance and denial. He refuses to allow anyone to talk to him about mental illness at all and has physically bullied my 80 year old father who is totally supporting him. I am relieved to find a person who is discussing this issue so outwardly. I do not feel that I have the qualifications or the skill to help my brother find financial stability, and fear that he will become homeless once my father passes away. It is a dark well for all of us. I search for a gentle way to approach him, and pray for that source of inspiration for him to turn his life into the best life he has now. I look forward to your self-help book being published.
ReplyDeleteDear Marni:
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your situation. This is the saddest, to me: when someone will not even reach out for the help that IS available now. Once upon a time there was no help at all, so it's heartbreaking that some people won't even use what help there is.
One of the hardest things for some people to do is admit to themselves that they are mentally ill. Not everyone can do it. The sad truth is that your brother will probably have to face some harsh situations before he is ready to concede that he needs help. I feel for you, and I applaud your willingness to be open to any progress he might make later on.
The book should be out in a matter of weeks; I'll be sure and post the link on Amazon. Check back in late June or early May. I wish I had more to offer you...
Deborah
Oops! I meant early July!
ReplyDeleteDeb